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  • Writer's pictureTammy Toney-Butler

On a path of destruction? Lost?

I am walking along a path of destruction, so lost. How do I break free of it? Do they know what I have done? Will my wife find out, my kids? Why did I even go to that place? So broken, so lost. If I never come home, will they even notice? I only wanted a moment free of the pain, the brokenness, the emptiness.

What's that you say, help exists? Easy for you to say, you do not know how I feel? The weight of it all. You were not there when it happened. How could you possibly know how I feel? What's that? You know what it's like to hate yourself, to believe the world is better with you, not in it. The way they look at me, judge me. If only I could rest for a bit. Maybe the path would become more apparent, and I would not be lost.

If only I had hope, a glimmer, I could keep going until I break free of all this darkness. What's that, you know the way to the light, to that ray of hope? Say, I try it your way; what do I need to do?

Start by reading His Word and finding His Truth. Christ helped you lift the weight of it all off? What's that? You felt as dirty and ashamed as I feel now, with no end in sight, no way out? You say he helped you, and you can sleep, forget, and forgive?

Wow! How is that even possible? With His love you say, His peace, joy, and strength. Can you help me? Let's see what His Word Says.

1: Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.

2: O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.

3: Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause.

4: Shew me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths.

5: Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.

6: Remember, O Lord, thy tender mercies and thy lovingkindnesses; for they have been ever of old.

7: Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions: according to thy mercy remember thou me for thy goodness' sake, O Lord.

8: Good and upright is the Lord: therefore will he teach sinners in the way.

9: The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.

10: All the paths of the Lord are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.

11: For thy name's sake, O Lord, pardon mine iniquity; for it is great.

12: What man is he that feareth the Lord? him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose.

13: His soul shall dwell at ease; and his seed shall inherit the earth.

14: The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.

15: Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net.

16: Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted.

17: The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.

18: Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.

19: Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.

20: O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee.

21: Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.

22: Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles

Never give up hope, He set me free and He can set you free too!

Blessings and Hope,

Tammy Toney-Butler

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