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Do You Feel Like an Imposter?

Can I do it? Do I deserve it? I am not good enough to grab hold of it and pull it down, that blessing, that promise. My past disqualifies me; look at me; who would want me? I do not dress like other people nor talk like they do.

Do you think they will figure out I am a fraud? What's that, you say? I have a Ph.D. in physics. You say I graduated from an Ivy League School and was top in my class.

Do you think they know? That I struggle to get out of bed every morning? That I see myself as an imposter? Why, I am not sure, but I do. What do you mean that it's a lie? You mean I am worthy, deserving of love? Says who? My real parents never saw me that way. They abandoned me, and I was adopted. Deep hurt, indescribable loneliness, and self-loathing creep in as I lay my head on my pillow. I would give anything to sleep more than a few hours a night.

How do I push past the darkness in my soul and break free of the lies of the past? How can I experience peace and joy? What's that, you say, call out to Christ? I have before; He was never there when I needed Him. Where was He when I was left alone, abandoned by my real parents? I was not worthy enough for them to love me, see I am an imposter? What's that, you say? Trust in God again. You are right, I have tried everything else, and nothing has worked. What do I have to lose?

Do you mean I can smile again and experience joy as I see in others? Is Peace possible for someone like me? Yes, you say, what does God's word say about peace, joy, love, and being chosen?

Wait, What? Am I Chosen? Am I special? Of course, you say. Let's see what God's Word says about being chosen, shall we?

Romans 8:28 (KJV)

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Philippians 4:7 (KJV)

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Peace and Blessings,

Tammy Toney-Butler

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